u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
