Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
