A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
be right there i have to get my cape
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
