Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
