If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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