if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
