This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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