people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
