dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
