Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i now understand why vodka
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
