bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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