I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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