I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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