yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
