Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
