All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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