I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
