What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it hurts more in the daytime
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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