You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
