The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
