I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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