she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I want her autograph on my taint
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize