yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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