so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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