is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
