so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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