Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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