Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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