You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
