Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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