I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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