I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
