i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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