And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
