Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I had to cum in my sink.
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