im drinking this country out of the recession.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
