Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
