News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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