best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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