My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I could fuck to npr.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
