so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
