Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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