just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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