Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
