he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
