On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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