If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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