I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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