What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
