Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
