She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
