This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This toilet bowl is my home.
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