I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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