Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
