I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
